Baby Update!

The last few weeks have dragged by so very slowly as we waited for the pivotal 5th month ultrasound. That afternoon appointment finally arrived yesterday, and several mysteries were revealed.

First, the baby is looking good. Everything is in the right place and seems to be in good working order. Baby was feisty during the exam; moving around, opening and closing mouth, and sometimes covering face with hands.

About an hour into the exam after an exhausting tour of our baby, the key tidbit emerged from the murky black and white depths of the sonogram. "Well, it looks like you're having a mister," said the tech.

We are having a boy.

It's great news, and we feel blessed that Shannon and baby are cruising along happily and healthily. We'll post a couple snapshots up here as soon as we find the dadgum cable to the camera.

Blog at y'all soon!
Chris and Shannon

Baby Time: Frequently Asked Questions

Do you want to know the gender of the baby?
Absolutely! We can't imagine not knowing. I frequently cancel the microwave countdown with a few seconds left, so I'm not big on patience. This is momentous stuff!

When do you find out the gender?
It should be in early June at the anatomy check. We will also find out how many arms, legs, toes, and/or tails that our child currently possesses.

Will you name the child after me?
Blog Audience: What are the chances of you guys naming the baby after me?
Chris and Shannon: Well, that's pretty difficult to say.
Blog Audience: Hit me with it! I've come a long way to read this site!The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?
Chris and Shannon: Not good.
Blog Audience: You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?
Chris and Shannon: I'd say more like one out of a million. [pause]
Blog Audience: So you're telling me there's a chance!

We have a few lovely names picked out, but we're not spilling the beans quite yet. The dialogue above was cribbed from a great movie. Bonus points for identifying it.

What are your thoughts on bringing a child into this world, a world where "Cavemen" became a featured television show and subprime mortgages are defaulting?

These are troubling times. I watched an episode of Cavemen, and it haunts me to this day. Also, the sub-prime mortgage crisis is scary. Home prices could fall quite a bit. We do feel prepared to have a child. We're doing well in our careers, and we have kept two pets alive.

Do you have any idea what you guys are getting into?
Not really, but we're learning and anticipating as much as we can. For example, I learned that a baby will use about 2,400 diapers in the first year! YIKES!

Tales of Domestication...The Garden

What happened? Wasn't I just a college student the other day? I remember when my biggest daily challenge was the struggle to make it to an 8 a.m. speech class. It was actually possible to lurch awake at 7:45 and still make it on time with some minor sacrifices in hygiene and fashion.

The hours were pretty onerous. My courseload was generally 12-13 hours per week. I spent more time watching Beverly Hills: 90210 with my roommates than I did sitting in class. Those were tough times, I tell you.

For some foolish reason, I completed my college degree in four years. What was my rush, exactly? The idyllic Spanish-tiled confines of the University of Texas gave way to seas of gray fabric cubicles, whiteboards, and conference rooms.

This triggered a chain reaction of profound events. First, I got older with every passing year. The birthdays were relentless. I flew right through the doldrums of the mid-twenties, crashed through 30, and here I sit at an age that can be described as "kinda old, I guess."

Over this time, a slow and steady domestication has ocurred. Wikipedia describes domestication thusly:

Domestication refers to the process whereby a population of animals or
plants becomes accustomed to human provision and control...Animals domesticated
for home companionship are usually called pets while those domesticated for food
or work are called livestock or farm animals.

This is excellent research! First, my lovely wife and I married. We bought a house together. We've painted rooms, replaced shower heads, and spent many hours tending flower beds. We got a dog. At work, I've pushed harder in my career. According to the above definition, I've beome a livestock pet. That is maturity, and life has never been better.

What is the point of these blog rambles? As part of our steady domestication we've planted a nice little vegetable garden. We've got a hodgepodge of exotic heirloom tomato plants that are thriving. There are orange bell peppers, red bell peppers, hot banana peppers, jalapenos, cucumber, and watermelon plants.

The tomatoes have started to bloom, so we'll soon be swimming in tomatoes like: Japanese Black Trifele, Dr. Wyche's Yellow, Sweet Orange Roma, and Black Zebra. Heirloom tomatoes cost $5 per pound at high-end groceries, so this could be a valuable little garden.

Pictures of the garden are coming soon!

Hello World!

Dear Blog Audience:

Shannon and I would like to make a very special announcement. We are having a baby.

The due-date is October 19th. This is a very interesting turn of events in our lives, and we're unbelievably excited to find out what the future holds for us.

There will be more to come in this blog, and we will be sending specially trained carrier pigeons with tiny little scrolls with this news. If one of these pigeons approaches, please don't eat it.

The picture above is about 5 weeks ago. It was just like the movies! We went into a darkened room with a couple of monitors. The kindly nurse put some gel on Shanon's stomach..Then suddenly there we were looking at our tiny little flesh and blood. It was quite a moment. In our most recent visit, we've been told that everything is good...strong heartbeat and all that.

Finally, we are accepting application essays for why you feel the baby should be named after you. Stay in touch..Leave comments here early and often.

Shannon and Chris

Meet the Mutt...

She was scruffy and flea-bitten with the outline of ribs showing through a light blonde coat. This little 15 pound puppy had already seen some tough times in her 8 months of life. She was picked up as a stray by the Humane Society from the streets of Waco, Texas.

We heard and quickly learned that she was adept at survival in dangerous places where food is not readily available. She can catch bugs out of mid-air. Any fly in the vicinity is as good as dog food with her around.

In spite of this tough beginning, her simple canine smile and friendly eyes were bright and unwavering. This was a happy, sweet-hearted little animal, and it didn't take long for us to decide to bring her home with us from Waco.

It's been one of the best decisions we've made together, adding this energetic Corgidor to our house. The breed is half corgi and half labrador retriever. Intelligent, precocious, and energetic.

There have been some ups and downs. She did eat my I-pod Nano and chew on some of the woodwork in our house. But, she's a tireless companion and a warm comforting lump at the foot of the bed every night. She doles out the unconditional loyalty and affection...and we keep doling out the the crunchy dog food.

So, we introduce to you our new dog. Her name is Bella. We hope you can meet her sometime. She would love to jump on you and beg for food.

2008 Presidential Candidates

A Good Idea:
Poker is a fascinating and challenging game. Playing it well requires mastery of fear, strong analytical thinking, excellent instincts, tactical flexibility, and solid strategic skills. You know, those sound like things that might be nice to have in a President of the United States.

Last night on The Daily Show, a Harvard professor proposed a simple idea:

Stage a poker game between the presidential candidates on national television. Voters can watch and get a good look at the actual strategic decision-making of each candidate.

It would certainly be more informative than these ridiculous "debates."

Unfortunately, we'll just file that along with ending the Electoral College in the "That's nice, but it's Not Gonna Happen" folder.

Disclaimer: This is the first and last political post I will ever post here. There's nothing lamer than political blogs. Well, except maybe celebrity gossip / papparazzi blogs.

The Gingerbread Incident

It was a joyful and sometimes raucous family Christmas at Uncle Jerry and Aunt Nancy's house in idyllic Orange Beach, Alabama (sort of a red-neck Margaritaville). With a house full of kids hopped up on turkey and christmas candy, the situation was growing dangerously volatile.

The chaotic opening of the presents was set to begin in a few minutes when a conspiratorial whisper reached me: "Have you heard about The Costume?" Intrigued, I followed Aunt Che into the laundry room. In one corner something bulky and brown sat bulging from a plastic bag: The Costume.

In spite of my well-known maturity and dignified behavior, my relatives somehow chose me to wear The Costume to liven up the party.

And what a costume it was! Here was a huge, full-body Gingerbread Man foam suit. As soon as I saw it, I knew that this was going to be awesome, embarassing, and memorable.

With Shannon's help I crammed my holiday food-enhanced frame into the suit like a cat trying to jam into a shoe box with fur and catmeat bowing out the sides. I started sweating in the heavy foam suit. I practiced my Gingerbread Man falsetto. It was almost showtime.

My stomach fluttered nervously. This was a dangerous assignment. I could hear the shrieks and roars of the sugar-addled children out in the main room. Like sharks in a frenzy at a stricken fish, the kids were nearly frantic with present-opening coming so soon.

Also, it's a well-known fact that violence against people in full-body costumes is a growing problem today. Wearing a giant costume somehow dehumanizes the fragile human within, and people, especially children, lash out violently. I've seen enough episodes of America's Funniest Videos to know what was going to happen. I won't go into the details, but I was certain that I would be punched somewhere that would help get my Gingerbread voice to the right octave. Still, I soldiered on and lurched out into the room.

The next minutes are a blur to me. The bulky suit muffled and distorted outside sounds. The eye-holes in the head of the costume had shifted so that my vision was limited to a tiny window.

I danced. I squealed in my best Gingerbread Falsetto. I handed cookies to the kids. I even chased poor, terrified Bama (the dog). The Costume was a hit based on the laughter I could hear. So I continued to stagger around the room.

It was starting to get hot, and the time was right to exit stage left. The grand finale was a crazed, frenetic dance: part running man / part Bird of Paradise mating ritual. The anonymity of the costume led me to dance in ways I would never, ever attempt in a public situation. The spirit of the Gingerbread Man took over.

When the dance was completed, I collapsed to the floor. Show over. This was not a smart move. The children surrounded me, like curious onlookers approaching a crash-landed alien.

Suddenly, WHAM! A crushing blow landed on my face from above.

The children had surrounded the now supine Gingerbread man. Sensing weakness, my cousin had done her best professional wrestler impression. She had leapt skyward, tucking her little knees under and transforming into a lethal hammer of doom.

She definitely stuck the landing. This was my cue to exit. I staggered away to the laundry room to get out of the costume and assess the damage. My head was pounding and a potential shiner was forming on my right cheekbone.

It wasn't that bad though. The hardness of my head and the foam padding of the suit saved me.
I had a blast cutting loose as the Gingerbread Man, and I hope it becomes a family tradition. Next time I'll stay on my feet and keep my guard up.

Coming back again...

Dear Blog Audience,
I will be attempting to get this old broken-down, up-on-cinderblocks blog up and running in the near future. It was an eventful 2007 with some great times and a few tough ones, too.

I'm incredibly blessed to be surrounded with outstanding family members and friends. There aren't too many dull moments these days, so there's plenty of fodder to write about.

The goal is to use this blog as a soapbox from which I can spew forth narcisisstic ramblings to a grateful, slavering audience. Eventually, Google will buy my site and I will repay you all for your loyalty.

The real reason this thing is coming back is that several friends and family members have asked for some more postings. So, we're coming back. Get ready for more:

• Pictures and stories from social events and parties in Austin (like Cooking Challenges)
• Pet pictures of our freakishly proportioned Corgi-Lab (corgidor) puppy, Bella
• Poorly written essays about my quest to become a better cook. This concept is shamelessly stolen from Anthony Bourdain and Bill Buford.
• Typical funny stuff found on the Internets

Thank you for reading, and, as always, keep postin' those comments.