Thursday, June 10, 2010

Mikey Speech

Mikey is talking a lot lately. He mainly uses sentences, which clearly means that he will be an excellent orator when he is older. Recent utterances and common phrases from the little guy:

"I want that one" - General request, usually referring to food or some kind of toy

"Bella, No! Go away!" - Command used against a personal space invading Corgidor, looking for some food.

"Daddy, I got owwie." - Phrase accompanied by pointing at a bug bite of some kind.

"I wanna swing. I want outside. I wanna swing." - Request to go in the front yard to play on the infant swing. This is repeated ad nauseum.

"A-a-a-airplane!" - Mikey's response to most loud engine noises heard outside. This includes emphatic pointing skyward and looking around to see the plane in flight.

"Frain! (train)...Choo! Choo!" - The response to all train sightings, both real or imagined. Note that the "choo choo" utterance is made at a very high octave.

"I Booped!" - This utterance, usually accompanied by some knowing laughter, signifies the perfect time to hand the baby off to a significant other or grandparent.

Sorry for the weak blog post today. I guess it's better than nothing!

Thursday, June 03, 2010

Rock Star

I'm a bad dude. Shannon has been asleep on the couch since about 6. Mikey and I played a long bout of throw the tennis ball, run around, and scream. We chased the dog around. We rolled a baseball on the floor. You know, guy stuff.

Next, Mikey got his bath and his standard lotion treatment. We then headed to his bedroom and popped in his lullaby c.d. We read though five books (Brown Bear, Brown Bear What do you See?, Searching for Aliens, Charlie the Ape, the Big Machines Picture Book, and, finally, What do Dinosaurs do at Bed Time?")

After all that, I completed a perfect transfer of the still awake baby into his crib. I said "night night, rubbed his head, then left the room. In the jungle the lion sleeps tonight. All without waking up Shannon. Someone get me a Pulitzer, a Wurlitzer, or some kind of prize.

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

A Letter to the FCC

Dear Mr. Genachowski (Chairman, Federal Communications Commission):
I am writing you to request a radio policy change to protect parents from harm and emotional distress. I do believe in the concept of free speech and of the general right of radio stations to operate free of onerous censorship.There must, however, be limits.

On the morning of June 2nd, I dropped my infant son off at his daycare provider and began the drive to my place of employment. Everything was fine until KGSR (93.3 FM) of Austin callously broadcast a deeply troubling song. I had just left my son, so I was in a vulnerable frame of mind. Numerous dust particles apparently got into my eyeballs, as they became quite watery.

This song was "Cat's in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin. This cautionary tale excorciates a dad for neglectful parenting. It implies that the neglectful dad will wither and die alone in an abusive nursing home with only a congealed cup of lukewarm tapioca pudding for comfort. He will name the pudding "Tappy" and carry on long conversations with it just to have some human interaction.If only he had played that game of catch with his son all those years ago!

This song should be outlawed during the morning commute! During this time, the roads are full of parents who have just handed over their children to caretakers. We must do this so we can work and pay our bills. We already feel guilty enough as we head to our cubicles without having some radio station stick a dagger in our hearts. I would love to play a game of catch with my son, but these spreadsheets aren't going to validate themselves!

"Cat's in the Cradle" has its place, and that place is not the morning commute. Think of the danger posed by thousands of distracted melancholy drivers who suddenly find dust and irritants in their eyes. Think of the risk to our economy if thousands of parents suddenly quit working to play catch and fingerpaint!

I beg your office to take action by banning the broadcast of this hurtful song between 7 and 9 a.m. Thank you for your understanding.


Chris Sieber