Thursday, October 26, 2006

Of Mice and Miatas

You pull into a crowded parking lot and begin weighing risk and reward. Do I risk driving up into prime parking territory for the reward of an anomalous open space? Or, do I take the safe bet at the back of the lot to avoid driving around like a fool (also emitting greenhouse gasses, warming the global climate, melting the ice caps, and drowning some poor polar bear who was just about to crack open a Coca Cola.)

Well, this time, you take the gamble. And your gamble pays off. A tell-tale gap between parked cars appears up ahead. Smugly, you slow down and turn the wheel slightly to enter your parking glide path. Suddenly you see 'It'.

It's small, red, and dingy. A cloudy clear plastic rear window hangs loosely from a tattered convertible top. This is some sort of child's toy, not an automobile. And it's in the parking space you so coveted. Yes, you just got Miata'ed for the umpteenth time in your parking career.

The Miata is an abomination in our Super-sized world. Cars have gotten bigger, morphing into asphalt crushing U.S.S. Nimitzes. Yet, this annoying rodent of a vehicle dares to scurry among us.

How many hopes and dreams of a better parking space must be crushed by the sudden appearance of a Miata? Luckily, our government is working to ensure that noone should ever have to drive a car smaller than, say, a Ford Explorer. Until the last accursed Miata sputters into oblivion, please be careful. That open parking space up ahead may not be what it seems.

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