I just realized that I've never owned a leather jacket. How can I have gone through my entire life of 30+ winters without this coat staple?
I could claim to be defending our bovine friends who would probably be more comfortable in their own skins. This would be disingenuous, as I love me some ribeye steak crusted in salt and seared to medium rare.
I've also never owned a bird or fish, but I have eaten plenty. I think they make better food than pets. The opposite goes for pigs (ehem, Carter).
I've never owned a car that has only two doors. What a brilliant idea that is! "So, it's like a 4-door car with a few improvements. First, the door will be heavy and difficult to open. Second, it will swing out and absolutely obliterate the car parked next to you on a regular basis. Finally, anyone who wishes to enter or exit the backseat must perform gyrations and unflattering contortions that are probably illegal in the state of Utah."
I've never owned a school class ring. I can just put on one of my ugly school t-shirts if I want to show my allegiance. Is there a hidden purpose to these things besides earning a rate of return for the shareholders of Jostens? The best I can come with is that the ring is helpful when punching someone.
Does anyone in the audience care to share an I've Never Owned story? Was this posting complete garbage?